


Gardens

by mitsukai613



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5641972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitsukai613/pseuds/mitsukai613
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marluxia wants to turn the organization's keyblade wielder towards his cause, but Axel has not been silent about his nature. Still, Roxas is malleable and innocent, and Marluxia knows that, given time and opportunity, he can bend him to his own will. What he doesn't count on is the tendency of flowers to bend towards light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I watched the keyblade wielder silently and thought of the setting sun, warm and over-bright with dying light. He smiled and laughed with Axel, as if he had a heart, the assassin's aimless flame serving well to hide his brightness from one who didn't know how to see. Larxene doubted him, doubted that he would be of any worth, but I... I had seen him fight. I had seen how valuable he could be to us, to our cause, if only Axel didn't possess him so determinedly. Eventually, though... eventually Axel would have to leave for a mission and leave him unattended, and then... well, it would be simple enough to "befriend" him, I expected. I smiled to myself, tilting my head back and watching the dull gray ceiling as the day passed by.

My moment came sooner than I might've thought, though not in the way I'd expected. Saix came to me early in the day, assigning me to heart collection with number thirteen in Twilight Town. I inclined my head, and he watched me stand with suspicion bright in the animal gold of his eyes. The others, barring Axel, generally complained about having to work with him, but I saw no reason to pretend at annoyance that I did not and could not feel. He didn't mention it. After that blessing, I suppose I should have expected Axel to take me aside the moment he read the mission assignments and found himself set to work alone in a new world whilst my own name was written neatly by Roxas'.

"Leave him out of it," he bit, voice even and cold to hide the fire glinting in his eyes and sparking across his fingertips.

"Leave who out of what, may I ask? You really must be more specific when accusing someone of something, number eight." He clenched his jaw, and for the barest of moments I cursed my tongue. Axel was fickle, always fickle, and though he had acquiesced to my plans so far I knew that if I stepped too far out of his boundaries now, he would ruin everything simply to get back at me for it. For now, at least, he needed to think that I'd listen to him.

"You know what I mean, Marluxia." Roses burn, he'd always said, and I could hear the thought in his voice. I was willing to wait decades for the thrill of letting my flowers snuff out his flames.

"I do. Apologies, Axel; I only thought that such things were perhaps better discussed in a more private setting. In any case, I have no plans to involve him. We're far too late in the game for that." He stared at me for a moment, expression dripping with venom, until at last he nodded and whipped around, opening a dark corridor and going on his way as if nothing had happened. He would probably be back before Roxas and me. There wasn't much time to turn him to our cause, but I could manage. There was no other choice, after all, not if we wanted to retain our ability to gather hearts once I was at the head of the Organization. Perhaps I could even make him prefer me to Axel, and wouldn't that just be the funniest thing?

Roxas arrived on time, at least, so I supposed Axel hadn't yet been too damaging of an influence on him. He went to Saix with his head down but it shot up as soon as he was told that his mission was with me. I offered him a smile and he looked at me as if I had my scythe against his neck. That was relatively new; he'd shown no fear of me when we'd first gone on a mission together. Axel had poisoned his mind if not his actions then—hopefully it had not yet reached his roots.

"Let me know when you're ready to leave. Ah, and Saix mentioned that our main targets were dire plants. They're weak to fire, which I admit is far from my forte, but I've heard that you manage it well enough. Ah, and here's an ether; I've no use for it on this mission, but it could come in handy for you, especially if we happen upon the zip slasher rumored to be there and can't avoid it." He took it silently, seeming surprised, and slowly, so slowly, the frown on his face tipped into a smile. He was too good at faking emotions. Perhaps it was a byproduct of his Somebody.

"Thanks, I ran out last mission," he said at last. "I'm ready to go when you are." I opened a dark corridor with a flourish and for a moment I didn't understand why he looked so impressed, though I recalled quickly that he had not yet mastered using them, often opening ways to nowhere or worlds other than the ones he intended. I gestured for him to go first and he obeyed without question. He looked very small as he stepped into the darkness and I followed him. He did not worry over a blade in his back while he was turned away. He should have. I almost summoned my scythe just to show him how foolish he was when we stepped into the nigh permanent quiet of Twilight Town, but didn't—I wanted him to trust me, after all, not dig that keyblade of his into my chest.

"Such a nice place, don't you think?" I asked, and he stared at me again, all wide eyes the color of cornflowers and out of place innocence.

"Where do you think the heartless we're after are?" he asked instead of responding, and I tilted my head.

"Who knows? We'll have to walk around for a while, I suppose. Did you have somewhere to be?" He shrugged.

"Not really, I guess."

"You normally go somewhere after your missions." He blinked, cheeks flushing pale, familiar pink. He should have but didn't remind me of his Somebody. His silence was heavy as we started making our way through the town and I thought to say something else that might loosen his tongue a bit more when at last he spoke again.

"Here." It took me a moment to understand, given how long it had been since I last spoke, but when I did, I forced a smile, pretending happiness as best I could.

"So you do like it here! I'd assumed you had good taste, though perhaps you enjoy it for different reasons than I—the gardens here are lovely. Just enough light for the flowers to bloom." He grinned and gestured towards the horizon, where the clock tower was silhouetted against the forever-setting sun.

"I like it up there. I don't remember it too well, but Axel brought me there the first day I joined the Organization, and then again after my first mission. We try to meet up there and have ice cream after all our missions now," he said, bright, happy, false, always false, I had to remember that none of it was _real_ no matter how good he was at pretending. Perhaps no one had yet bothered to tell him that whatever joy those meetings brought him was only a memory. Then again, to Xemnas he was only a mindless pawn, if a very necessary one, and there is no reason to tell the whole truth to one who can be sacrificed. He had too much faith in the replicas that were being made, especially now that one seemed stable enough to join us. I didn't really see the point in them—after all, why settle for a replica when to have the real deal one needs only loyalty, and from one like Roxas, loyalty was an easy thing to gain.

He wanted to trust, to be "friends," and I of all people certainly didn't have the heart to refuse him. I didn't say anything for a moment or two and instead watched the nerves and the doubt overtake his face. Yes, he wanted to trust me badly, probably wished to trust all of the organization, but I knew well enough that few made such a thing simple. All the more reason he'd be ever-more willing to lean on me.

"That's not against the rules, is it? You're not going to tell the Superior?" I laughed. It sounded tinny and strange even in my own ears—it had been a long time since I'd had to fake that. I could only hope that it was passable enough to fool him.

"No, we all have our places. Xemnas doesn't begrudge us that, given that we can't all be lucky enough to have a place within the castle suited to our tastes. I've my garden, myself, and I prefer it to any other, so I spend much of my time there. I think this place suits you as it suits me. Still, perhaps you'd like to visit my garden some time. Change the pace of things and all that, do something different." More confusion. I wondered what all Axel had said about me.

"I wouldn't want to hurt the flowers," he said at last, and I settled a light hand on his shoulder, easy as breathing, squeezing it for the barest of moments before I pulled away again.

"You'd do well with them, I think," I said, then paused and turned him to face me, took his jaw softly between two fingers and bending low so my face was close to his. "As I said, this place suits you—just like it, you are just bright enough." I mustered the kindest smile I could, and his lips parted. He felt fragile under my hands and I could have broken his jaw if I'd wanted, could have slid my hand ever-so-slightly down and pressed my thumb hard against his thin, pale skin until it started bruising brilliant purple and he choked, cornflower eyes still wide and innocent but betrayed instead of trusting. I didn't. He still looked unable to breathe.

He didn't try to move away and I lingered a moment longer than necessary before I stepped back, still holding my lips in a gentle smile. I watched the struggle on his face with ease and supposed that there were advantages to his tendency to pretend, however silly I thought it was. Eventually, though, he seemed to come to a decision, and he nodded lightly.

"Okay. Axel said he might not make it today anyway." So, so simple—I almost wished that he put up more of a fight, but then, fighting was far from conducive to the strict timeline that constrained me. Perhaps later, when the future was more assured, I could give him reason to doubt me and reason to trust me again, play with him a little more. That was later, however. At that moment, it was time to focus on finding the heartless.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a long time since I'd been sent to Twilight Town, and though my memory was good, the streets were tangled vines, forever twisting and overlapping until it was impossible to navigate them cleanly without familiarity. Roxas acted as if he could've moved through the city blindfolded, like he'd built it himself. It was equal parts enlightening and frustrating—it was nice to know more of him, see more of what he was when at peace, but I disliked being led about like a blind dog, and when he stopped in front of a gaping hole in the wall that led to a forest, I disliked it even more intensely. Forests were pleasant enough, after all, but only if one knew it well enough to avoid the treacherous things.

"Strange that they keep this open for anyone to wander in," I murmured, and Roxas shrugged, stepping through the hole and moving deftly over the jutting roots and the uneven ground.

"I don't think there are any animals or anything, and the biggest heartless I've ever seen here is a shadow. I guess whoever runs this place thinks it's not dangerous enough to bother closing it off." I had little choice but to take him at his word, so I hummed and kept on following him as he led me deeper into the trees. I could see the way out after barely five steps and relaxed minutely, though even the natural shadows on the ground shifted ominously as if only moments separated them from the few shadows that did actually form and attack.

Nobody or not, darkness didn't suit me. Distantly I recalled a plan formed in another life, a punishment too harsh for what wasn't really even a crime, but quickly forced the thoughts away. That man was not me, not any longer, and dwelling on his memories as the organization's higher-ups did would only hold me back. In any case, the courtyard on the other end of the forest quickly bloomed full of Dire Plants, and I expected that my mind would be better served on the fight, however simple it was.

Killing them didn't offer me the same rush that killing other Heartless did—my affinity to them was so strong that most hardly bothered to fight me. They bent to my scythe like wheat in the breeze and I could not even end them quickly because Roxas was the one who needed to deal the final blow to release the hearts within them. He did at least follow close behind me so that they didn't lay limp and dying on the ground for very long.

Given what I knew of him, the mercy wasn't unexpected, but it was welcome. Axel would have let them suffer, slowly burning, and though I knew Roxas had brought fire magic, knew he could handle it, knew I'd given him an ether in case he only had a little, he didn't use it on any of them. It was over quickly, and I had Roxas' assurance of at least a bit more time spent with me that day. He would turn to our side, to _my_ side, and he would do it soon. I would offer him no other choice, though perhaps he would not know that for a while.

I imagined that when he was perfectly tied to my side, I could even offer him the chance to rule immediately under me, as my second, though Larxene would surely dig her little knives into my throat if she even suspected that such a thought had crossed my mind. She could be dealt with simply enough, however, when the time was right. Just like Axel.

I should not have forgotten about the Zip Slasher that had been sighted there, but its long absence had lulled me into false security. I heard it as soon as we stepped from the forest, clanking about in one of Twilight Town's countless courtyards, and Roxas frowned, body stiff.

"What's that?" he asked, faintly too-loud, and I wrapped an arm around his shoulders to pull him back into the forest. He came easily, so horribly trusting and I wanted him to trust me but it felt far too simple when hardly more than an hour before he'd been flinching away from me.

"It's the Zip Slasher Saix mentioned in his report for this mission. We'd best be quiet and try to sneak by it without notice—I'm not equipped for a fight with it and though you're certainly strong, you're not yet quite strong enough to face that." I could feel him shifting in the cage of my arm, could feel that he wanted to fight, but slowly he relaxed. Good. More people willing to listen without complaint was always a good thing, and they were generally in very short supply.

"Okay." The struggle in his voice at the words was obvious, and I felt myself smile though I didn't entirely intend to do it, given that he couldn't see my face to get anything out of the act. I supposed it did help to soften my voice, some.

"You'll be able to come back eventually with a Holo-Mission and deal with it, I assure you, and you will likely do it quite aptly. Perhaps we can even do it together if we have a bit of time to prepare and some shared time off in the coming weeks. Right now, however, I've only got two potions and I imagine you filled your bag with ethers and fire magic you never used, yes?" He squirmed. I wished I could turn him around and see his face but resisted the unusually irrational urge.

"Yeah." I was hardly able to hear him.

"Worry not. I've made the same mistake—all of us have. You're yet learning." I let him go, and he turned and grinned up at me like sunshine, bright and bold and lingering. I had to force myself to look him in the face and the smile I managed in response almost hurt. "Stay behind me. Keep an ear and an eye out; it'll be obvious if it means to attack us." He nodded, expression shifting to seriousness with all the ease of a breath, and I was glad for the time to school my own face as I led the way from the forest, towards the Dark Corridor that would lead us back to the castle at last.

I thought we'd make it easily when I heard the first rush of air and saw a flash of acidic green. I whipped around in time to see a blade rip across Roxas' open back, and the keyblade wielder screamed. To his credit, however, the keyblade was gripped in his hands as soon as he quieted, and I summoned my own scythe, tossing him one of my potions so he'd be able to run at full speed.

"What now?" he asked, once he'd downed the liquid and tucked the bottle in his own bag, and I jerked my head back once, sharply.

"Keep backing up, try to hold it off until we reach the Dark Corridor. Block, don't attack." He listened. It didn't matter. The Heartless had him in its sights and he was fast, yes, but not as fast as it was, and the blades caught him again and sent him reeling back. I flinched. For a moment I thought it was sympathy, but I realized quickly how silly that was.

Roxas hauled himself back to his feet without a sound and then, then he was blinding, light spilling around him like a supernova, centered about his weapon, and he fell on the Zip Slasher in a flurry of strikes. It was beautiful, in its way, bright and warm and comfortable, and the fixed determination on his face only added to the beauty. I could admit that I was mesmerized. And then it blocked. I was in front of him before I realized that I'd moved. I took the blow, felt blood spilling from my chest, felt Roxas dragging me away as best he could, into a narrow alley I barely fit inside and the Zip Slasher probably would be a little too large for.

He looked as weak and pale as I felt when he pressed the other potion bottle to my lips. It wasn't enough to fix everything, but it was enough that the wound on my chest stopped bleeding and I could stand again. Roxas was ashen and before I could stop him he peeked out of the alley and cast one of his fire spells at the approaching Zip Slasher. It didn't seem to hurt it, really, but it did knock it back and hopefully that would be enough to allow us to run. If Roxas could run, which I wasn't certain of, and why had I taken that hit and gotten myself hurt too? He wouldn't have died from it, only been knocked out, and then I could've simply hauled him up and left.

"Can you run?" he asked me, quiet, and I raised an eyebrow and stood. The alley was claustrophobic.

"I'd imagine I should be the one asking you that." He tried for a smile, but it rang a little false and that, somehow, felt deeply wrong.

"I'm okay, thanks to you," he murmured, then peaked out again to find the Zip Slasher coming towards our alley again. "Ready?" I nodded, unsure of what to say for the first time in a very long time. Strange as it seemed, my split-second decision to take the blow had obviously been a good one—he was far from astute enough to suspect my less than pure motive for doing it, after all, would think it done out of kindness or care and then he would tie the noose that bound him to me with his own two hands. He cast another fire spell and we shot out of the alley.

He stumbled. The Zip Slasher caught him in the leg and his already pale face turned paler. I picked him up, held him tight against my chest, and he went limp almost the exact moment we dived through the Dark Corridor only to land on the hard, unforgiving floor of the Gray Area. I kept him tucked against me so the fall wouldn't jostle him too much. Axel, who I imagined had been awaiting our return, leapt to his feet as soon as he saw us there, saw the blood covering our coats and matting the ends of my hair.

"What the hell did you do? What did you let happen to him?" he snarled, and his fingertips were sparking again.

"Go get some potions, Axel." I looked down at Roxas' face instead of up at his and brushed his yellow-gold hair back from his forehead. He felt clammy-cool under my hand and Axel obviously wanted to snatch him away but he knew better than to risk it so instead he swept from the room to find potions for us. Perfect. Perhaps not precisely as planned, but most definitely perfect—with this, I was certain that the keyblade wielder would play right into my hands. I looked down and saw that I was still stroking his hair even though Axel was gone. I had to force myself to stop and felt suddenly frozen where I knelt. I'd have to bring my plan to fruition soon, obviously, else Roxas and all his warm-sunset-light would make me believe my own lies.


	3. Chapter 3

                I didn’t let Axel take Roxas when he returned with the potions, instead only snatching the bottles from his hands and pressing them to the blonde’s lips. He jerked upright, flailing and coughing, but I kept a hand steady on his back and kept him from hurting himself as he returned to awareness. Axel only watched, poison ivy eyes intently narrow and lips pursed, as if I’d somehow kill him with a potion meant to heal his wounds.

                “Marluxia?” Roxas mumbled, voice slow and slurred, a little like he was trying to speak underwater, and I smiled down at him. He grinned like a fool, throwing his arms around my chest tightly and laughing against my neck. I stiffened. Axel looked enraged and I almost thought that I could see the shadows of his chakrams in his hands. It was too perfect. Forcing myself to relax and hold Roxas in response wasn’t as difficult as it should’ve been, and my chest felt warm where he was pressed. “Thanks for saving me.” I nodded, light, letting him pull away and ignoring the sudden cold and the minor, but bitter, ache.

                “No need to thank me. We are comrades, after all, and I would like to think friends as well, yes? In any case, it isn’t as if you didn’t save me as well.” He looked a little more like a real human than the rest of us did when he faked a smile. His eyes crinkled at the edges and he showed his teeth in a way that wasn’t threatening. He nodded, and my hands twitched. I wanted to drag him back against me, but it was a foolish thought. He must’ve had more power than I’d guessed, some strange trick none of the rest of us understood or had seen before. Axel took a step forward, breathing too harshly, but he calmed himself as he knelt, taking Roxas lightly by the shoulder.

                “Hey, Rox. Feeling better now?” he spoke quietly, more kindly than I could ever recall, and my thoughts burned with remembered hate. I doubted that I would’ve liked Axel even as a Somebody; he was grating, too loud, too wild, too unbalanced. Uncertainty had never sat well with me, and Axel inspired more uncertainty in me than I’d ever known.

                “Yeah, I’m okay, Axel,” he said, light and far too calm, and Axel sighed, drooping a little as the tension drained from his body. The acrid smell of smoke still lingered on the air, but I seemed to be the only one who noticed.

                “You should still rest a while, Roxas,” I said, forcing what I hoped sounded like care into my voice. “Why don’t we go to my garden, hm? It’s quiet there, and I doubt you’d be bothered.” Like magic, Axel stiffened again, and Roxas tilted his head, smiling kindly. I wasn’t sure which of us he intended it for.

                “Or we could head to your room,” Axel bit, and I saw poison behind his smile. Of course, from a traitor’s mouth, wasn’t every word a sort of poison? I chuckled.

                “Flowers are good for healing, eight,” I said, and Roxas glanced between us, smile fading. I supposed he noticed the tension, but then I shouldn’t have been surprised; anyone could’ve, at that point.

                “We can hang out tonight, Axel,” he said, very careful, and Axel clenched his fists. He nodded, though, still smiling even if it looked like it hurt.

                “Yeah. Why don’t you go ahead, Roxas? Marluxia’s garden is a couple floors up, big glass room at the end of the long hall, got it memorized?” Roxas nodded, rocking to his feet and wandering off in the direction Axel had indicated. He looked back a few times, his brows furrowed and his lips twisted into a deep frown. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him frown that way before.

                Axel and I stood, both watched until he was out of sight, and then, without warning, a point on one of his chakrams was pressed against my neck. I raised an eyebrow, but didn’t move otherwise; judging by the look on his face, he wouldn’t have hesitated in killing me. Chances were, he wouldn’t even face any consequences for it, as I was beginning to suspect that the higher ups were not quite as unaware of my plans as they seemed, or at least some weren’t.

                “This is quite rude, number eight. What have I done to deserve such a threat, hm?” I curled my fingers loosely, imagining the feel of my scythe, ready to summon it in a moment’s notice should he try to move. He laughed, then, head thrown back and shoulders shaking. The noise was manic, and it rang harshly in my ears. There was desperation, too, hidden but there, and perhaps dear thirteen was rubbing off on him. How _cute_.

                “You swore to me that you wouldn’t involve him, Marluxia. I shouldn’t be surprised, but why are you doing this?” I smiled. He was a hotheaded fool and he’d never been anything else; I’d always known how to make him angry, and I’d always avoided it because I knew how unpredictably it could make him react. Just then, with his chakram pressing against my throat, I found myself not particularly caring, though I wasn’t certain why. All I could think was that he was a fool, and perhaps I imagined myself just as angry as he did.  

                “Is it such a crime for me to be fond of him as well? He is not your property, is he?” Axel snorted, pressing the point a bit more firmly against my throat. It ached. Had I been human, I would’ve already been bleeding.

                “Like I’m going to believe that. You don’t do ‘fond’ and you know it. Man, you have no idea how much I wanna kill you right now.” His voice was lower, almost a growl, and though his eyes were wild, his hand and arm were steady. For all that I was called the Graceful Assassin, he was truly the master of killing without even a thought; such messy work suited him more than me, and judging by his usual missions, the Organization knew that quite well. I wondered how he’d managed to charm someone like Roxas, someone so soft, when he was all harsh angles and death and fire.

                “I’m very clear on that, actually. In any case, when I say fond, I simply mean that he will be useful once all is said and done. Why have only the Somebody when the Nobody is just as strong, after all?” He breathed deeply, and his chakrams slowly faded. When he outlived his worth, I would poison him; I knew the flowers to do it, after all, and a few ground into his meals would end his life quite aptly. He did not deserve to die on the end of my scythe, after all, and I wanted to watch him die for longer than the simple moment that would take. Perhaps after, I would comfort Roxas over his death. I smiled, inclining my head towards him.

                “You touch him, Marluxia, and I’m not hesitating long enough for you to say a word. I’m not going to let you get him hurt.” He spoke very lightly, forcing himself to sound teasing even though the both of us knew how serious he was. The sleeves of his coat were singed.

                “I wouldn’t dream of it, Axel; he’s far too valuable.” And of all I’d said, that, at least, wasn’t a lie. I stepped around him, and he didn’t even bother to elbow me as he normally would’ve. I felt his eyes on me all the way down the hall, but I ignored it. After all, it was my garden that would flourish under Roxas’ light, while his flame flickered and died in darkness, even if I was the only one who yet knew that.


	4. Chapter 4

                Roxas was waiting for me in my garden when I arrived, fingers brushing against my roses curiously. His hand looked pale and thin and weak next to the bloody red of the flower, but there was a certain beauty to the delicacy. I realized then that it had been a very long time since I’d seen my roses for their beauty rather than their thorns and shook my head.

                “Careful, Roxas; you’ll prick yourself.” He startled, hands flying from the rose as if he’d been burned, and turned to look at me, cheeks brilliant pink.

                “Sorry.” I laughed without meaning to, and didn’t recognize the sound of it. I had never laughed that way before, but there was a familiar quality to it and my body ached miserably with the recollection.

                “No need to apologize,” I said, reaching out towards the roses. Without thought, I made the thorns fall away and wondered when I’d begun growing roses more thorn than rose. The flowers leaned towards me and I smiled to myself as I plucked one, breathing deep and easy and almost forgetting that Roxas was there until he spoke.

                “Wow,” he murmured, mostly under his breath, and I tilted my head, settling the flower quietly behind his ear. The red looked nice on him.

                “It isn’t so amazing, really; flowers are simple, if one is willing to listen to them. Simpler than people.” I’d always thought that, even before, when I was that other man I didn’t know. He hadn’t hated people, but he hadn’t understood them. The only time he’d ever felt close to them was when they bought his flowers, grinning like they’d bought the world. He’d loved watching his flowers given as a gift and he’d relished in always knowing which flowers were best suited to which person. Roses had been his favorite then, as well. He’d sold them often and never met anyone who deserved them. Roxas really did look beautiful with it in his hair.

                “What about Nobodies?” he asked, cheeks still that pale pretty pink, and I laughed again. It was more familiar this time, false and hollow and me instead of him.

                “Nearly everything is simpler than Nobodies, Roxas. Come, the center of my garden is far more comfortable than here. I’ll call for a dusk to bring us something to eat while we sit.” He nodded, and I led him easily through the twining paths of my garden. He stopped periodically to look at some of the flowers, fingertips dancing over the finer petals and a small, thoughtless smile curling his lips. I tried not to look at him, he burned so brightly.

                I heard him gasp when we reached my garden’s center, and I couldn’t help but imagine myself as a bit proud. I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t work in my garden here in the castle, and I’d always been fond of what I’d done with the center. I grew Bleeding Hearts there, Bleeding Hearts of vibrant pink that never fully bloomed.

                “I’ve never seen flowers like these before,” he said, reaching out to them, but I caught his wrist halfway.

                “I wouldn’t imagine so. Many have a bit of trouble with them. In any case, you shouldn’t touch them; they’re poisonous. Most are fine as long as they don’t eat them, but some people have particularly sensitive skin and I’d prefer not discovering if you were one of them when you’ve already been hurt so badly today.”

                “They don’t look poisonous,” he said, but he sat without trying to touch them again and I settled on the bench beside him.

                “Often the prettiest flowers are the most poisonous. I’ve some here that taste good, some that are bitter but useful in brewing potions, and others, like these, that make you quite sick. The scientists have found some use for them occasionally, and I’m fond of every flower I grow here. The roses are my favorite, of course, but here, in the center… I thought perhaps these were more appropriate.” He smiled at me again, and I returned it, watching how easily he relaxed, how easily he was able to lean his head back to look at the twining, brilliantly flowering vines along the ceiling. I wondered for the barest of moments how it would feel to stand behind him and summon my scythe, press the curve of it against his throat until blood began to bloom as vibrantly as the rose in his hair. I turned to look at my Bleeding Hearts instead and found myself willing them to bloom. They never did; they were the only flower in my garden that didn’t bend to me with ease and suddenly I recalled that the man I no longer was had hated Bleeding Hearts.

                I couldn’t remember why I’d started growing them, really. Perhaps I really had thought it appropriate to have the “hearts” at the center of my garden, though I couldn’t remember ever enjoying such symbolism overmuch. I shook my head; chances were I’d simply seen them somewhere in one of my early missions and thought them pretty. I wondered how long it would take for me to get rid of them, replace them with something else, something less… well, I simply didn’t find them pretty anymore, and it wasn’t as if they’d ever bloom anyway. I rearranged the flowers often enough after all; it wasn’t really strange. Still, something about these… it didn’t seem as simple. I’d liked them when they were bloomed, I recalled, at least better than I had closed.

                “That sounds useful. Axel always made it sound like they were just here because you liked them.” I didn’t look him in the face because I doubted I could fake emotion and sincerity just then. My stomach was twisting strangely and I wondered if I’d somehow struck ill.

                “That’s true in a way, I suppose; should I not want them any longer, they would likely not _grow_ any longer, at least not so well. I expect Axel meant it in a less complimentary way, of course, but Axel and I have never been particularly friendly. We’re too different, I’m afraid.”

                “Oh. So people that are really different can’t be friends?” I could tell from his tone that this was something to be answered carefully; whatever affection he thought he felt for me would need to be nurtured from now on, and he liked Axel as well.

                “Some can. It depends on the differences, really. Axel and I are a different sort of different; different at our cores, you see? Fire and earth. One burns, the other smothers; equal and opposite. We aren’t suited. You and I, though, and you and him… you’re light. You fit us both, if in different ways.” I still wasn’t looking at him, but I could almost sense his wide smile when he bumped against my shoulder playfully. When he spoke, there was laughter in his voice.

                “That’s sort of sweet, in a way,” he said, and I finally looked at him. His eyes were bright and wide and sparkling and I doubted I’d seen anyone smile like that even when I was human. My stomach felt even tighter and my chest started aching.

                “Sweet? How dare you,” I said, my voice also light, and I realized suddenly that I was smiling. I felt wrong, somehow, wildly wrong. The dusks who came with a small tray of cookies and tea were a blessing, and Roxas smiled at them too, as if they were at all aware. I resisted the habit to wave them away once they left the food, so they lingered around the garden. I supposed they liked the light and the warmth. I was able to do little more than hold my breath and hope they didn’t destroy anything.

                “Well, you are. More than you want people to think, probably.”

                “And you, Roxas, are far stronger and far smarter than you seem. It’s really quite a shame you joined so recently, else you’d be far more trusted than you are. Still, I quite like you, and I trust you whether that trust is shared by the remainder of the Organization or not. There is a very, very important mission coming up soon, at our other castle, Castle Oblivion. There are no other Nobodies there, but there are secrets. Many of our number will be going there soon, myself included, to discover those secrets. As yet, I don’t know precisely what we’re looking for, but I imagine… I should not say this, but I imagine it has something to do with you, with why you can wield the Keyblade.” He stared at me, smile slowly fading, and leaned away.

                “With me? You mean… maybe my Somebody?” I nodded. “If you find anything, can you tell me?”

                “Perhaps I can do better. Would you be willing to listen to me, if you were at the castle with me? To do as I asked of you without question? If so, I will petition to have you brought along on the mission with us. There is, of course, a good chance that my request will be refused since there are no Heartless there, but there remains a chance that it will be accepted as well.” He grinned, then, and nodded slowly.

                “I trust you. You saved my life today. I don’t think you’d do that just so you could kill me later.” I reached out and stroked his hair, resettling the rose a bit more firmly in his hair. It really did suit him well.

                “Quite right. I trust you as well, of course. We shall do quite well together, I imagine. I’ll tell you whenever I learn anything else, but I must ask that you do not mention this to Axel. Perhaps later he’ll learn of all this, but I would be in enough of a mess if anyone learned that I told you this much, much less that because of it he learned it as well.” He nodded, though he seemed a bit concerned at that.

                “Okay. I won’t tell anyone.” Perfect. Everything was going perfectly, and it was taking hardly any effort at all! By the time I left for Castle Oblivion, hopefully with him in tow, no one would be able to turn him against me. For a moment, I wanted to kiss him, though I realized quickly that that would perhaps simply turn my efforts backwards.

                “Thank you. You seem a good friend, Roxas. I only hope I prove worthy of your friendship. Now, once you eat, I expect you ought to go find Axel and spend the rest of the evening with him. I’d prefer he not come barging down here and burn my flowers away in search of you.” He laughed again, taking a small handful of the cookies and nibbling at them. We chatted inanely until he finished, at which point he hugged me tightly and left, turning and waving when he reached the door. I returned both and felt warmer than I had in a very, very long time.       


	5. Chapter 5

                Roxas started visiting me regularly after that. I’d offer him snippets of what I knew about his Somebody and the mission at Castle Oblivion, and he ate it up, believing me every time I told him that I knew nothing else. As time passed, though, it got more difficult to lie to him and I always had to remind myself of the necessity of it. He hadn’t been allowed to join the mission, of course, but I’d expected that and planned for it accordingly. I asked him to keep doing his missions, to get stronger, and then… then I told him my real plan.

                “I’m going to take over the Organization.” We were in the center of my garden again, the Bleeding Hearts swaying with the cool air circulating the room. He was gaping at me, teacup gripped so loose in his hand that I thought he might drop it. I took it from him and settled it on the table in front of us just in case.

                “What?”

                “I won’t repeat myself, Roxas. The Superior is not helping us; everything he’s had any of us do has been for himself. He has no intention of getting our hearts back. I do. Your Somebody is in Castle Oblivion. When I find him… I can use him to kill Xemnas, then return him to stasis. That’s why I need you to get stronger, Roxas, so that you can continue collecting hearts when I return.” He looked terrified, then, more than he had any right to look, and still ever-beautiful. The more I looked at him, spoke to him, _knew_ him, the less I wanted simply to control him.

                No, I’d grown to want him in general, to want everything, to want him to rely on me. I wanted him to think he loved me and, when we got our hearts back, for that love to carry over. I wanted to be able to love him myself. With all of that, I’d grown to want to kill Axel even more, and chuckled under my breath. Truly hearts brought out the ugliest aspects of everyone, and yet… I stroked Roxas’ hair again and he let me pull him close. Axel had walked in on us together once, I recalled, and I’d seen on his face that he wanted to take my head off. Probably would have if Roxas hadn’t been in the room. He had stayed until Roxas left and warned me again, though this time it was not to touch him, as if Axel’s wishes mattered to me in the slightest.

                “Axel says I shouldn’t trust you,” he whispered, “he says you’re lying and you’re using me. Marluxia… is… I don’t think that’s true, is it?”

                “No. Axel simply… he cares for you, and he has little reason to trust me. I don’t blame him for that.” It was simple to justify lying to him still. It would be worth it. It would always, always be worth it.

                “I trust you. I just… don’t want you to get hurt.” My chest warmed again and this must have been the way it felt to have a heart. Roxas, I suspected, had that effect on people, made it easier for them to pretend. I’d started laughing like a human again and Larxene was getting suspicious and I could not bring myself to care. I’d gained a wildness and an urgency and a _need_ to finish what I had begun for Roxas’ sake and my own. I remembered what I’d thought that day, after I’d saved him, that I’d have to be careful not to believe my own lies. I hadn’t been able to predict that perhaps they would become something more akin to truth with the more time I spent with him.

                He made me feel like a human when we spoke, chatting about casual things, going for ice cream and stretching holo-missions longer than they needed to be simply to spend a few extra hours together. He was the only one who knew that the Bleeding Hearts never bloomed.

                “I won’t. You know, Roxas, I’ve never met someone who suits roses like you do.” He tilted his head.

                “Really? I think they fit you better than me. Aren’t I… aren’t I more like these?” he asked, gesturing at the Bleeding Hearts, and I shook my head.

                “No, you’re roses through and through, my dear. Vibrant and soft and beautiful, yet resilient and powerful. Bleeding Hearts are venomous and fragile and…,” I paused, and didn’t say what I’d thought, that, perhaps, I was more akin to those. “They are not beautiful. I can’t stand them, really, though I’ve never been able to bring myself to replace them.” He pulled away, some, staring up into my eyes without even the slightest hint of fear and I’d never dare hurt him because of that, not anymore, no matter how simple it always would’ve been.

                “Are you… waiting for them to bloom?” I laughed, loud and until it _hurt_.

                “Perhaps I am. You really are so beautiful,” I whispered, and knew that those flowers would never, ever bloom no matter how long I waited, not until I had a heart of my own, not until I could share it with Roxas, not until Axel was gone and I was the only one he looked at with such affection in his eyes.

                “I think… I think the Bleeding Hearts are pretty too,” he said, smiling a little, and I pulled him against my chest again, kissing the top of his head lightly. I wanted to do more. At one point, I’d _planned_ to do more, once he trusted me above all others, with his whole self, once he was under my thumb. Now… it’d be better to wait, I knew, since it wasn’t only his body I wanted. Still, I was no saint, and I lifted his face from my chest, cupping his jaw as I bent and kissed him and for once my fingers weren’t crossed and he kissed me back.

                When I pulled away, his face was pure primrose pink and I imagined for a moment that I could already love him though I knew that wasn’t true. Sora was nothing compared to him and I wondered how a shadow could burn so bright.

                “The mission begins at the end of this week. Everything will be dealt with; don’t worry yourself. When I return, it will be but a matter of time before we have hearts of our own.”

                “Just… just don’t get hurt. Please.” I nodded and kissed his forehead and we sat together in comfortable silence for a while before we stood and began tending the flowers together until he left again. I made it a point to not see him much in the passing days before I left for my post as Lord of that new castle. Still, I couldn’t resist the urge to leave a bouquet of roses and a small note professing my hopes to him one last time before I left. I would return, without Axel, and I would defeat Xemnas, and I would be Lord of this castle as well, and I would return our hearts to us. I would have Roxas, fully and without question.

* * *

 

                We’d been there but a scarce few weeks when Axel revealed himself as a traitor to our cause, and I knew right then that I would almost certainly not make it back to Roxas. He came to my room, very late one evening, poison eyes glowing in the shadows.

                “I’m going to help Sora, you know that, don’t you?” he said, ever a fan of skipping formalities. It was perhaps the one trait of his that I looked upon positively.

                “I’d gathered that.”

                “And you know he’s going to kill you?”

                “Not if I have anything to say about it, of course,” I said, and he laughed, sharp and manic and grating and I _hated_ him with a passion I knew couldn’t have really been false.

                “You won’t. I’m the only one making it out of here, Marluxia. He isn’t yours and he never was.” He drew a small, charred paper scrap from his coat and tossed it on the ground in front of me, along with a burned rose. “He’ll be so upset you didn’t say goodbye, but once he finds out you really only wanted his Somebody, I think he’ll get over it. You don’t deserve him.” My fists clenched and I felt my scythe appear in my hand without a thought. Axel’s chakrams were in his a breath later.

                “And you do?” I bit, and he laughed again, sadder this time.

                “No. No one does, really. I’m just making sure no one like you can try to hurt him.” He didn’t try to attack. I felt myself breathing harshly and my face was wet. I didn’t attack either. It wouldn’t do to let myself crumble, not then, not when I knew the fight that was coming. I would make it back. I had no choice; he thought I hadn’t told him goodbye.

* * *

 

                I came back to the castle when everyone was dead, a whole lot of them at my hands. I kept trying to tell myself it was for Saix, who’d always been my best friend, but in my head there was just Roxas, Roxas who’d gotten sucked in by Marluxia, Roxas who told me he thought he might love him, Roxas who was innocent and gullible and who damn sure didn’t deserve to get fooled by a bastard like that.

                He cried when I told him what happened, leaving out my own part in it all because I didn’t think I could stand him hating me. He spent a long time in Marluxia’s garden, grieving his heart out, taking care of the flowers like Marluxia taught him. According to everyone else, while we were gone he’d split his time evenly between there and the Clocktower. I started taking him out more, spent more time in Twilight Town, laughing and playing the dumb game the kids there played. He started smiling more, but he never stopped visiting the damn garden. Sometimes he brought me with him. Once, I stumbled, and when I landed sparks leapt off my fingertips. I told him it was an accident and he believed me and Demyx couldn’t get there fast enough to save much beyond the stupid little heart shaped ones at the center of the garden.

                Roxas transferred them into his room and didn’t cry and I left it at that because I’d always told Marluxia that roses burned and Roxas was my best friend in the world. I felt like I had a heart when I was with him and my heart said I loved him even if I didn’t deserve to do it.

                I forgot about Marluxia for a while, until one day Roxas met me on the Clocktower and smiled even brighter than usual.

                “Marluxia’s Bleeding Heart finally bloomed,” he said, light and joyful. “They look like a person in a bath!” I forced a smile even though it hurt and caught him in a half-hug.

                “That’s great, Roxas! Turning into a regular green-thumb, aren’t ya?” He nodded brightly and let me keep him close.

                “Maybe. You know, he told me once that he thought I suited both of you, just in different ways. I think… I didn’t really get what he meant at first, but I kind of do now.” I didn’t, and he didn’t say anything else, just stayed close to me and smiled. One week later I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him and he kissed me too and I felt like I was on top of the world. I still couldn’t help but wonder if it was really the roses I should’ve burned.  


End file.
